Anatomy of a 'forces of darkness' ('astral beings') attack crisis

The background to the crisis

On occasions from 2004 to 2007 I'd been severely and disruptively attacked by the garbage, as I nowadays prefer to call it (in my case it was most often manifesting as supposed 'astral beings'), and I give an account of my tribulations and the many extremely valuable insights I got from all that, in The 'forces of darkness' ('astral beings') — My own tough experiences, My own self-actualization process or 'path' — Part 1 (and its second part) and Psychiatry: my personal experience — Gaining fundamental insights. All this indeed led me, from May 2007, to find, take on board and start developing a whole genuine comprehensive self-actualization methodology which is aimed to enable one to progressively clear out all 'entities' and garbage interferences and influences.

I describe in The true nature of 'the forces of darkness' and its interference and attacks the normal modus operandi of attacks from the garbage, and it would be helpful for readers to have some idea of this before proceeding to read the account that I give here.

After a quite spectacular climactic crisis-level ordeal brought to me by the garbage in February 2007 and, as already noted, my subsequently taking up truly effective and safe self-actualization and 'entity' clearance methods, it looked increasingly as though, although the garbage was still attacking me a bit, my days of severe and especially crisis level attacks from it were all well behind me, and I could look forward to a steady further dwindling of the garbage interferences eventually to virtually nothing.

My inner inquiry using Helpfulness Testing* had been indicating since October 2007 that I'd cleared out all the parasitic lost souls that had been attached to me and which had been used by the garbage as weapons upon me in all the attacks.

On the face of it, because I supposedly no longer had any emotional stresses or traumas of my own and was allegedly free of the parasitic lost souls, whose emotional traumas had been the primary ammunition used by the garbage in the past attacks, I should have been completely immune to any further garbage attacks, but in practice I did get attacked at times, though not so strongly, and with a general trend (albeit with fluctuations) for the attacks to become weaker and more easily dissolved. The main peaks of attack that still did occur were generally of three types:

• Unbidden and generally inappropriate sexual arousals
• A severe clenching of the anus, which made it uncomfortable and made bowel movements and farting difficult — together with a superimposed 'phantom' raw burning pain in the anus, based on a very considerable amplification and distortion of the genuine but minor discomfort caused directly by the clenching.
• Arisings of very nasty fear- or anxiety-related feelings, usually but not always associated with a menacing ache at the solar plexus region, sometimes with a nauseous component.

The latter type of attack usually came to me most strongly when I was writing and putting onto this website new information or insights that would materially assist people in understanding the true nature of the garbage and its pernicious agenda and thus to become more effective in clearing themselves of its interferences and influences.

Naturally the garbage was seeking to stop me from doing anything that would go against its hold upon virtually all people* — though its attempts to stop me looked increasingly inane and pathetic, being, as I now understand, the work of programmed thought form complexes and not of truly intelligent, aware beings. I explain more about the garbage's apparent true nature and origin in The true nature of 'the forces of darkness' and its interference and attacks.

Those odd 'peak' attacks were nothing like as strong as the severe, crisis-level ones that I periodically used to get. My inner inquiry indicated that the garbage was still able to attack me because it had held in place within part of my mind a whole range of thought form complexes that were replicas of aspects of the lost souls that had been attached to me. As I progressively dissolved these*, it became apparent that mere memories of traumas belonging to those lost souls were also being held in place by the garbage and could also be used as ammunition, which would be experienced much as attacks with real trauma material, albeit not so strongly. These too I was progressively dissolving*, along with the thought forms.

So, how come that in May 2008 I found myself unexpectedly having to call the local Crisis Resolution Team once more for some telephone contacts to get my awareness properly balanced and grounded to help me dissolve a further crisis-level sustained attack? As it turned out, gaining an understanding of what made this particular attack 'tick' proved invaluable in enabling me to subsequently defuse and dissolve countless other attacks, whether they be apparently major or minor.

Chronology of the crisis

• 15th May 2008 — I put online a new web page, The future of humanity — Countenancing the unthinkable. In writing that page over the previous few days I'd had to face myself with the apparently almost certain imminence of a major degree of catastrophic economic meltdown and collapse of all main human civilizations on this planet (with massive loss of life) because of our massive overpopulation of the planet and our having blindly and crazily built up all our infrastructures to be dependent on non-renewable resources — particularly oil, the supply of which is rapidly running out.

  It was disturbing to me to face myself with the apparent imminence of the immense problems that I'd been assuming were most likely to hit us further down the line and thus at least, I'd previously supposed, wouldn't affect me in this life of mine.

  I experienced only the slightest pangs of garbage attack when I put that page online, and thus it appeared that I was becoming still more invulnerable to attacks, even in situations when I was most inclined to get them. That fitted very nicely into the overall picture of my clearance from myself of garbage interferences and influences.

  However, over the next few days I was experiencing a gradual build-up of worry thoughts, mostly at the back of my mind, about that apparently imminent collapse of civilization. By 19th May I was experiencing slight nasty feelings of garbage attack associated with those worry thoughts, which latter I well realized were not really my own thoughts at all but were covert messages ('pseudo-thoughts') put in my mind by the garbage.

• 20th May — I was being attacked quite strongly with fear, right from first thing. I had a dry mouth and was feeling extremely — exceptionally — fatigued. Now, I don't usually feel particularly fatigued as a result of garbage attacks, unless there's been major sleep deprivation over a succession of nights, but my understanding gained from my inner inquiry method was that on this occasion I was being attacked more with the emotional state of fear, rather than fear-related trauma energy (which latter is what I used to be attacked with rather than the emotional state of fear), and one effect of a strong emotional state of fear is that, although it doesn't make you fatigued all that much in itself, it accentuates the fatiguing effect of things that you do.

  It just happened that the previous day, while the attack had been simmering and quietly nagging at me in the background, I'd been on a strenuous walk on the Cornwall and Devon coast path from Bude to Hartland Quay, and, while walking that route wouldn't normally have weighed that much on me, the particular type of attack caused the walk to have become exceptionally fatiguing for me — though a slight virus infection may have played a part too.

• 21st May — I was being attacked similarly first thing and similarly had a dry mouth, though at least the fatigue had eased. I went out on another, shorter hike (on the Devon coast path from Sidmouth to Beer), and this helped ground my awareness a bit, with a consequent receding of the attack feelings to a niggling background level — though the garbage-sourced worry pseudo-thoughts were still very much with me.

• 22nd May — I was still being attacked with fear feelings first thing, still with the same worry pseudo-thoughts. My mouth was still dry, and part of my breakfast was difficult to eat. During the day the attack drifted to and fro between fear and a tearful-feeling grief (supposedly at the imminent destruction of all I'd known, and the pointlessness of my doing anything more with my life).

  The attack was further boosted by the 'button pushing' caused by the record high price of oil being the primary item on the news on the radio, and the fact that nobody in all the interviews and discussions on the subject was either recognising that oil was actually running out, and, even more seriously, even uttering a whisper to the effect that the world is overpopulated by a factor of probably as much as 1,000 (yes, a thousand!), and that was the primary cause of the problems.

  I sought to get my mind onto other things, but everything I countenanced was now further restimulating the fear, anxiety and grief feelings, for everywhere I turned, the inner 'thoughts' (actually pseudo-thoughts put there by the garbage) were about it all being about to end and there being no point in whatever I did now.

  Even my bit of work in the evening at preparing some more of my photos for inclusion on my Broad Horizon Photos website (long before the whole online photo collection was transferred to Flickr) — a task that was generally grounding and took my attention away from garbage-related issues — was pushing the same buttons for me, for the pseudo-thoughts were wondering what the hell was the point of my doing any of this work if within a very few years it was all going to be wiped out, and there would be nobody to benefit from it.

  In bed I was being attacked with an 'overactive mind' effect (a very common ploy of the garbage to try to disrupt my life) which very likely would have kept me awake all night, so reluctantly I took a Zopiclone sleeping tablet*.

  * This isn't meant to imply in any way a recommendation of taking sleeping medication of any type. My pragmatic very sparing use of sleeping tablets (Zopiclone is for me the least harmful of those known to me) has been on the basis of 'the lesser of two evils', where further sleep deprivation would significantly weaken me and render me more vulnerable to the garbage. My use of the Returning Life Sequence back then, and the Energy Egg and Guardian Angel*, helped ensure that I had the speediest possible healing of the various invisible long-term harmful effects of such medication.

  * In subsequent years I'd have used the much more effective methods I developed myself instead of the third-party Egg and Angel, and my chosen regular core practices instead of the Returning Life Sequence, so my mention of them isn't intended to imply a current recommendation. Nowadays I have equivalent and more effective methods that don't depend on any external aid at all.

  For more on the subject, please see Ways of handling a prospective rough or sleepless night.

• 23rd May — First thing, the attack was much the same as on the last two mornings, with dry mouth and throat making the eating of part of my breakfast difficult, and I felt an exaggerated tiredness. As the day proceeded a tearful grief feeling tended to come more to the fore than previously in this crisis event. Despite all this, I was still also feeling my joyful and untroubled natural state* much more strongly than in previous crisis events, so it was very clear to me that I hadn't fallen back into the dark and difficult times of particularly 2004 and 2005.

  * I appreciate that that may seem very strange to most people. This characteristic of mine, to be constantly joyful and untroubled even when being attacked with strong trauma emotions and so also feeling perhaps hellish feelings, stems from my being enlightened. When you're enlightened in the healthy way (most enlightened people aren't), you experience yourself as being the proactively peaceful observer of all you experience — including difficult and painful experiences. Contrary to widely held belief, enlightenment in itself doesn't stop you having painful experiences. What it does, though, is very much to affect the way you perceive those experiences.

  One curious thing I'd been noticing since this attack became really noticeable a few days before was a very strange and distinctive smell from my faeces — a bit like a roasted chicory-based coffee substitute that I'd used decades previously. My inner inquiry indicated that this was a result of a physiological disturbance caused by sustained strong fear — specifically the emotional state of fear. I hadn't experienced this phenomenon before because the previous major attacks with fear-related material had been using trauma energy and not to a high degree the emotional states associated with the particular emotions.

  In bed I was initially trembling a lot (the process of releasing fear), and even when that had died back my mind was overactive in a very ungrounded sort of way, with all sorts of strange garbage-sourced visuals and impressions, very reminiscent of nights leading up to previous hospitalization-level crises. So, reluctantly I took Zopiclone again, to get some sleep.

  Although taking such medication at all might look to be a bad choice, the issue here was that to allow the garbage to deprive one of sleep would be to play into its hands, because the more sleep-deprived you are, the more difficult is it for your awareness to be properly grounded, and the more vulnerable you are to the garbage and its attacks. Therefore, getting at least a reasonable amount of reasonable quality sleep is a very important part of handling and indeed dissolving a garbage attack or crisis event.

  For more about that issue, please see Ways of handling a prospective rough or sleepless night.

• 24th May — The attack resumed first thing, with a slight trembliness and dry mouth, and it seemed to be getting more persistent. However, as I set out on a short morning walk down the River Exe and Exeter Ship Canal it came to me that all I needed to do was to recognise the whole 'doom' scenario that was associated with the current entity attack as 'just story', and to keep dismissing it as such every time it crept into my mind. Apparently the garbage couldn't attack me significantly while I kept out of 'story' and simply kept my attention 'in the now'.

  This change of tack helped quite a bit initially, though this advance got rather set back in the afternoon, when I had cause to do a few 'housekeeping' tasks that I'd been postponing for months, and this had pushed some more buttons for me, I think relating to the purported pointlessness of doing any of that work.

  That night seemed interminable. My Helpfulness Testing indicated that, having taken Zopiclone on two successive nights, it would be best this time to go without medication even if it meant a more or less sleepless night — unless I got a really troublesome level of attack. In the event I kept a quite good grounded focus, and the occasional incursions of strongish attack were only very brief as I refocused my mind on particular grounding things. Eventually I did get some brief snatches of sleep, with very vivid dreams.

• 25th May — Strong attack resumed quickly first thing as the garbage kept putting the missing 'story' about 'doom for us within decade' back into my mind. My breakfast was particularly difficult to eat, though I forced myself to finish it, knowing that it was all part of the garbage's way, to get me neither sleeping nor eating and thus, with people's concerns about me drifting into 'self neglect', to get shunted into psychiatric hospital again.

  By mid morning, while I was working at the computer, the attack was at 'severe' level and apparently still building, feeling very much like the previous attacks that had forced me into hospitalizations. Whereas up to this point my Helpfulness Testing had indicated that it would be better to manage the attacks without recourse to the mental healthcare services, now its indications changed, clearly favouring my contacting the Crisis Resolution Team.

  This wouldn't be with any intent to get into hospital but simply to re-establish the temporary support of regular telephone conversations with members of the Crisis Team, and possibly even the odd visit from them too. Living on my own and having no suitable local friends who could be any sort of support, I'd previously found that some contacts with Crisis Team members was usually enough to enable my awareness to get more balanced and grounded again and defuse a crisis-level attack event.

  I thus did call the Team right then, and, sure enough, that initial conversation, and the agreement between us that I'd be calling them again in the afternoon and evening to report back on how things were going and what I was doing to manage and defeat the crisis, was enough to pin down certain 'grounding points' in my mind, so that the attack could build no further and I could focus on those 'grounding points' in my mind, so progressively displacing all the garbage's menacing stuff and thus putting a complete stop to any ability for the feedback loop of fear (etc.) to re-establish itself.

  I then closed down the computer and did a little long-postponed cleaning work in my kitchen. I knew from experience that to do a lot of that at this stage would push more buttons for me and cause problems again, but to do just a bit, specifically seeing it NOT as part of an attempted normal day now but as a specific part of my crisis clearance strategy in conjunction with my support from the Crisis Team people, would be very grounding and beneficial.

  The nasty feelings from the attack were diminishing only very slowly, but in the light of my experience of previous crises I wasn't expecting an immediate cessation but rather a reasonably rapid dwindling over about 24 hours. What was different now was that I was no longer getting menacing surges of attack. Rather, it felt more like something nasty being slowly and inexorably forced out, and periodically kicking and thrashing out a little as it tried to maintain its failing hold.

  I emphasize, though, that this is only a figurative description, for I have good reason to doubt very much whether any entity at all was actually being forced out, for, contrary to the belief of the vast majority of 'healers' and so-called 'lightworkers', it appears that the garbage can't actually be removed from anyone. Really what was happening was just the progressive closing off or deactivating of the energy pathways of the attack.

  After a short very refreshing and grounding after-lunch walk I was back on the computer and replied to an email from somebody who was responding (very positively) to this website, and even just that 'pushed buttons' for me, and I got quite a resurgence of the attack, albeit not at a critical level.

  I duly made my telephone calls to the Crisis Team, late afternoon and again before going to bed. Unfortunately both those times the Team members who answered seemed to be a bit busy and were clearly trying to get me off the line as quickly as possible, which reduced the effectiveness of their support. They may well have been influenced by thoughts of He seems to be doing so well that he's low priority for my support just now — because I was always speaking with them in a positive, buoyant manner even if I did have a menacing solar plexus ache and was trembling a bit.

  That night was disturbed with alternations of trembling and menacing solar plexus ache, and a bit after midnight I very reluctantly took Zopiclone again. Even then it took me an age to get to sleep.

• 26th May — Yet again I got up with a slight trembliness and a dry mouth, with the garbage almost constantly inserting into my mind worry pseudo-thoughts about the world's imminent running out of oil and the dire consequences for us all. The attack was persisting, and I was wondering how this could be properly cleared.

  The point was that this crisis was different from previous ones, because although I now had the most welcome support line from the Crisis Team people, everything I countenanced in my life was still 'pushing buttons' for me, with the garbage intruding worry and despair pseudo-thoughts about the pointlessness of doing anything that I'd otherwise do and enjoy, and constantly reminding me that my life is (supposedly) almost finished now, along with everyone I was aware of. How could I put a stop to this constant restimulation or 'button pushing'? I hadn't had this issue in previous crises, and so didn't have a precedent to point me in any useful direction.

  I had a morning and afternoon telephone contact with one of the Crisis Team people (fortunately this time not in a particular hurry to get me off the line!). Although that was extremely helpful and my inner inquiry indicated that despite any immediate glitches the crisis was still on the way out overall, the attack, with all its constant garbage-sourced worry pseudo-thoughts, was a real pest — quite strong again while I was preparing evening meal. It seemed that all I could do was just 'ride it' and assume that it would die down very shortly, as indicated by my inner inquiry.

  I was beginning to wonder whether I was going to have to get into Cedars hospital again for a day or so after all, in order to get my awareness more grounded by having supportive people more immediately around me.

  It was during that stronger attack that I used inner inquiry to seek a further understanding of the situation, which might help clear the crisis properly. I wasn't disappointed with the result, either. I'd now found the core of and key to the problem, and could now experience a progressive proper clearance of the crisis. I reveal further below just what this key thing was.

  Indeed, the problem was gradually clearing during the evening, though with the expected transient little peaks of attack. I didn't get a great deal of sleep that night, though at least didn't take Zopiclone again.

• 27th May — No dry mouth this morning! I still had a slight nagging and 'tweaking' from the still dissolving central problem (which I explain further below) with its associated attacks, but this had all the feeling of being the death throes of a crisis and no longer any sort of continuing problem or threat. Just before getting lunch I phoned the Crisis Team and told them that I'd found the key to clearing the problem and now didn't expect to have cause to contact them again over the current crisis event.

  Adding to the grounding and healing process, I took an 8-mile afternoon walk down the Exeter Ship Canal and River Exe estuary to Starcross. Did it feel wonderful!

  As I was finishing my evening meal, to my surprise a new attack with nasty feelings started, initially with menacing 'voices' too. Actually getting 'voices' quite that way had been a rare happening for me even in my 'dark times' in the previous few years, so, what was going on here?

  I used inner inquiry and Helpfulness Testing to try to establish how this was able to be happening now. It turned out that a particular environmental stress factor was the culprit. Normally very temporary environmental stresses wouldn't have immediately opened me to a garbage attack, especially as I had a fair degree of protection from environmental stresses, thanks to my use of the Returning Life Sequence* and Energy Egg and Guardian Angel (I remind that not long after I got using the more effective Clarity-Sphere instead of the latter devices, and in 2018 finally changed over to equivalent but more effective methods not using any external aid), but at this time my non-physical aspects were still in a relatively unstable and vulnerable state, still with only a gentle balance against attacks on me being possible.

  * The original predecessor of what I nowadays call Regular Core Practices.

  Thus at this point it took only a little weakening of particular parts of my non-physical aspects caused by some normally insignificant temporary environmental stress to tip the balance the other way, and this was what had happened here. The culprit was actually the positioning of the pedal waste bin in the kitchen. Just before my evening meal I'd pulled the bin out from its normal position to a more prominent position where it would remind me after my meal to empty it and put a new liner in it.

  Indeed, normally I'd have had a modest degree of protection from stress caused by the positioning of that waste bin, but on this occasion I'd moved it out further than I'd ever done previously, and this wasn't only dramatically more stressful than its normal Notice me! position, but the Energy Egg and Guardian Angel were not able to do a great deal to protect me from the additional level of 'wrong positioning' stress.

  During the evening that attack progressively eased off as predicted, but another one, with a menacing solar plexus ache, started coming in. Helpfulness Testing pointed to another environmental stress factor that was responsible for this one (remembering that my non-physical aspects were still in a relatively vulnerable and unstable state at that time) — I'd left my camera (in its pouch) on top of a small drawer unit in a corner of my living room. That was the first time I'd left it there, and so again the Energy Egg and Guardian Angel hadn't had a chance to get tuned to that particular stress and afford me a small measure of protection from it. Naturally at once I put the camera away.

  That attack gradually eased off, but during the night, after some sleep I woke from a somewhat disturbing dream to have an attack with nasty anxiety feelings, initially peaking at moderate to strong level, then very gradually easing somewhat, though with fluctuations.

• 28th May — That attack with nasty anxiety-related feelings was still with me, increasing a bit during breakfast, though easing off gradually afterwards — though I wasn't fully clear of attack during the whole day. I still felt to have a bit of a cloud over me of garbage-sourced pseudo-thoughts to the effect that nothing of substance that I might do now would have any point, because of the supposedly imminent collapse of civilization and my own early demise. In the evening, my trying to figure out a small software issue on my computer 'pushed buttons' for me more strongly with regard to the supposed pointlessness of bothering to do anything of substance or which was an effort, and this boosted the attack.

  However, my inner inquiry indicated that despite the bits of 'rearguard action', the crisis was still clearing well from my system, but the issues hadn't yet been fully cleared; it would require just a very few more days to get it fully clear, and then such attacks wouldn't be able to happen (i.e., until / unless some as yet unforeseen major issue arose, which 'pushed buttons' strongly enough to initiate a completely new attack event).

• 29th May — Although I'd already stopped contacting the Crisis Team, I telephoned my allocated Community Psychiatric Nurse to arrange a visit from him in several days' time, just as a bit of follow-up support, again whose main purpose was to establish an additional 'grounding point' in my mind (as I had no suitable friends who could serve that purpose) to assist the completion of the clearance of the crisis-related material.

  I emphasize here that I contacted him only because he personally was a particularly clear-minded and aware sort of person who had a particularly agreeable resonance with me, and who had already previously shown himself to be running no 'psychiatry trip' on me nor proffering unsolicited (i.e., unwanted and unhelpful) advice, and who was really glad to be of use as a support just through having a chat, and indeed was really interested in my insights into what was going on for me.

  I took a 'holiday' that day from doing any work at all on my Clarity of Being site, for my working on that had actually been 'pushing buttons' for me a bit and encouraging continued attacks. I had no obvious attacks at all during this day, though I think there was still a low background level of continuous attack, causing a tempering of my basically happy and joyful experience of life.

Subsequent to that, it felt as though I was more or less completely out of that crisis and its issues and 'debris'. Yes, the garbage had still kept intruding worry pseudo-thoughts about various aspects of the apparently more or less imminent collapse of our civilization, but those pseudo-thoughts appeared to be no longer carrying significant emotive payload, so that I could simply let each drop and dissolve as I noticed it.

Revelation time — the all important core of the crisis…

As I've already indicated, this crisis was different from my previous ones because the trigger for it had been an apparently real situation as distinct from being just a fiction given to me by the garbage, and which I'd been taking on board during the crisis because part of my awareness had got sufficiently ungrounded. That meant that this time even when I'd enlisted the support of the Crisis Team I still couldn't fully cut off the 'flow' of button-pushing that was enabling the attacks to keep going, for everywhere I looked the garbage was intruding little pseudo-thoughts like That won't be like that for much longer now, and I won't be here much longer now to see / experience that, and so on.

I only had to look at people's consumerist lifestyles and their ubiquitous attachment to and preoccupation with procreation (which is at the moment our #1 enemy apart from the garbage itself), to be reminded yet again of the collapse of civilization that they were all actively helping to bring about — so repeatedly 'pushing buttons' for me.

That seemed to be a particularly difficult situation to get clear of, until, through inner inquiry, I established what was making it so difficult for me, and in particular, making me so susceptible to those pseudo-thoughts that I well knew were not my own thoughts in the first place.

That core of and key to the whole issue was… an illusory reality.

What the garbage had been doing to create this crisis was to use a constant flood of worry pseudo-thoughts (which I was constantly dissolving), which was sustained enough (over several days) to start creating a 'mental imprint' and thus covertly creating an illusory reality in a rather hidden part of my mindspace.

That particular illusory reality was a replica of the world as it is, but with one crucial difference: it was the theoretical worst case scenario, in which the worst possible actually would — not just 'might' — happen, and imminently. Thus I was increasingly strongly having the impression that not only was our civilization about to collapse but it was going to do so most imminently and in the most sudden and traumatic manner, so that soon almost overnight we would all discover that we no longer had any food, water, power or utility services of any kind, and so would all at once be left to lingering deaths of starvation / disease as there was no infrastructure any more to support us.

It wasn't that the overall picture was all that wrong, but it was assuming that people wouldn't start at some point waking up a bit to what was happening and then doing what they could to cushion the blow of the collapse of civilization, so that the collapse would most likely not be so sudden or indeed could conceivably in some manner be transformed into more of a restructuring and major scaling down of the human population on this planet rather than the apparently imminent traumatically catastrophic collapse with the most immense loss of life.

It was this worst-case scenario within that illusory reality in my mindspace that had then rendered me so susceptible to the garbage-sourced pseudo-thoughts and its attacks.

At last having a really good idea what this cause of the crisis was, I was at once spontaneously dissolving it, and the sustained attacks eased off. Indeed, I speeded the process by using the Grounding Point procedure during one of my walks, to speed the dissolution of the particular illusory reality and certain thought forms relating to it (i.e., the worst case scenario). It still required a few days to clear that illusory reality fully, and this was why I remained for a few days in a rather unstable state in which attacks could be particularly easily triggered by a wide range of factors.

In fact, if I'd had then a procedure to stall the emotional button-pushing and heal the vulnerability underlying each 'emotional button-pushing point', I'd undoubtedly have been able to clear this attack much more quickly, but such a procedure was yet to come, some two to three years later.

How come that the garbage could still attack me strongly at all?

I've already mentioned that, as far as I could ascertain through inner inquiry, I'd cleared out all the primary means for the garbage to attack me. It was thus puzzling for me as to how it was still able to attack me, and so strongly — assuming of course that I'd been getting correct answers in the first place from my inner inquiry and hadn't simply been deceived into thinking I was clear of stuff that was actually still with me.

Although at a certain level it was tempting to assume that I'd been deceived about having cleared myself of the parasitic lost souls that had been the primary source of the earlier severe attack incidents, the reality was that there was much observable evidence pointing to some clearance having taken place, and indeed of my continuing clearance of thought forms and other problematical thought 'energies'.

Even during the just-cleared crisis, my inner happiness and untroubledness was much more to the fore than in any previous crisis or severe attack incident, so it was evident that a great deal really had cleared from me, and I wasn't being nearly as severely affected by this last crisis as by the previous ones. However, whether it would have required any or all of my attached parasitic lost souls to have been cleared off from me to achieve that much clearance is a different matter, and I've no way to know that.

My inner inquiry on the subject pointed to there being an additional 'ammunition' reserve that I hadn't known about before, and which the garbage had been able to use in those more recent attacks: memories of previous severe attacks upon me. In other words, if this was true, this time I wasn't being attacked directly with trauma material at all, nor with thought form replicas of trauma material, but now with memories of previous attacks. Although they'd feel largely the same as attacks with 'the real stuff', they'd actually be to a fair extent less harmful to one's non-physical aspects, and actually couldn't reach the hellish peak levels of severity that I'd experienced in some of the earlier attacks with the trauma energy itself.

Again, this had and indeed still has for me some echo of the way the garbage would change its story to try to cover up as I successively uncovered its various deceptions, so I remained a bit suspicious about such a story. Over the years subsequently I became more inclined to acknowledge that I may even now have some of the lost souls still attached to me — though presumably they'd by now be in a much better state than earlier on, so that they'd be having much less adverse effect upon me.

Then, as already noted, in February 2012 I finally came to what looks to be the real explanation. Apparently I'd indeed cleared out the parasitic lost souls (i.e., had their attachments to me dissolved or 'broken') at the time my inner inquiry was claiming that to have been happening. The problem had been that my inner inquiry method relied on my using Helpfulness Testing on hypotheses and ideas that I came up with, for if I sought to ask questions and listen for answers I'd simply be channelling and get the garbage answering — clearly no use at all!

So, what had been happening was that I was Helpfulness-Testing certain possibilities that I'd thought of as to the source of the attack material, but none of them was 'bang on', even though each was in a way 'teetering on the edge'. This meant that the genuine 'signal' from my deepest aspects was weak or equivocal, and then it was easily swayed not only by garbage interference but also deeper aspects of my 'ordinary mind'*, where some confusions could still exist until I'd opened up those aspects and 'aired' those confusions.

More recently I'd much improved the reliability of my Helpfulness Testing, and had gained a better understanding of how to go about inner inquiry more reliably, and so it's possible now to be most unsurprised that I was getting shaky and equivocal inner inquiry results back then in October 2007 and in the immediately following years about the source of my continuing garbage attack material.

What I uncovered in February 2012, by testing the right hypotheses for a change, was that the real source of the material with which the garbage could still attack me was primary archetypes. My connections to those archetypes had been made by the garbage via certain of the parasitic lost souls attached to me, but unfortunately detaching the lost souls themselves hadn't removed or dissolved the primary archetype connections, and it wasn't till my discovery of that situation that I came up with and started to use a method to progressively dissolve / inactivate those connections — though even then I'm not sure how much that actually did for me.

I've already mentioned my use of the Energy Egg / Guardian Angel and the Grounding Point procedure to powerfully assist me in clearing the crisis and its 'aftershocks' — and indeed to clear out the actual cause of the crisis. Another extremely valuable method I was using to speed the clearance of all the ammunition that the garbage had been using in the attacks (whatever the exact nature of that ammunition at this stage) was a bit of Self-Power Walking that I included in my various walks.

Sequel — further attack attempts…

Global financial crisis — October 2008

You may just possibly have noticed that a global financial crisis came to the fore in October 2008. For the time being I've no means of knowing to what extent that was (or is) an early part of the 'final catastrophe' of the complete collapse of civilization, or was just something of a 'warning shot', from which initially things would seem to recover before the apparently inevitable real catastrophe occurs — whenever that may be.

One effect of the news reports about it, however, was 'pushing a button' for me that enabled the garbage once more to seek to build up in the back of my mindspace an illusory reality based on the general notion of This is it! — i.e., the worst case scenario, in which within even a day or two we would all wake up to find that we no longer had any vital services or infrastructure and were just left to die, with the hazard of mass anarchy, looting, people killing and eating each other, and just about anything else that you wouldn't want to countenance.

Thus I found my mouth and throat going dry during breakfast, and I had the very nasty feelings of the emotional state of fear gnawing away within me — even though I well knew there was nothing to be frightened or worried about, for things are simply as they are.

However, this time it was clear that the attack was being dissolved as fast as the garbage was feeding it, so it wasn't building up in the menacing and disruptive way that the May attack did, and I had no cause to enlist any support services to assist me in regrounding my awareness, and also got through this event without recourse to any sleeping tablets. Indeed, the only reason for the attack's being sustained over a few days was that I hadn't initially recognised the new pseudo-thoughts and thought forms that the garbage was feeding in, which were not fully 'covered' (i.e., for dissolution) by the measures I'd taken in May.

The 'crux' — such as it was — of this fiasco of a crisis was on Friday 10th October, when after a disturbed night with little sleep I went out on a long and strenuous hike, on the south Devon coast path from Exmouth to Beer (21 miles and over 1100 metres of ascent). The sleep deprivation wasn't the prime issue, but the continuing attack with fear — albeit only slight — was.

One thing that the emotional state of fear does to you physiologically is to cause your muscles to fatigue more easily, and in the later part of that walk, which otherwise wouldn't have been a really big issue for me, my leg muscles were really flagging and feeling very stressed and fatigued. After the walk I felt really 'done in', even though I was still strongly in touch with my intrinsic buoyancy and happiness.

That evening, back in my flat, I took a very few minutes to use the Grounding Point procedure (using an aventurine sphere as the 'grounding point'), to finally 'zap' the illusory reality, i.e.,"This is it!" and all related worry thoughts and images, and the task was done! Yes, my leg muscles were exceptionally stressed and fatigued still, but the emotional nasties of the attack were at once starting to evaporate, and effectively this crisis attempt was terminally scotched.

Additionally, by using the Grounding Point procedure in this way I was clearing that particular (small) vulnerability of mine — that particular loophole in my by now quite general invulnerability to attack from the garbage. That means that to attack me in future it would have to find a different vulnerability to exploit. And of course, should it succeed in doing so, what it would also succeed in doing would be to show me that particular vulnerability so that I'd then permanently* close that loophole too. So, once again the indications are that I'm on a focused and sure-fire direct course to full invulnerability at a relatively early stage.

…and still further attempts

Since that time, there have been the odd occasions when some bit of (usually in itself hardly noticeable) emotional button-pushing has given the garbage the opportunity to start launching a further attack on me, each time building up one or more illusory realities in some hidden bit of my mindspace. Nearly all those attacks were very minor, and I speedily dispatched them. However, there have been a few occasions when the emotional button pushing was for some reason stronger and somewhat more sustained, causing some degree of disruption in my life and even necessitating my calling the Crisis Team on a couple of occasions just for a little support to get my awareness better grounded again.

In each case my primary means of clearing the problem was just the same as outlined further above. I'd tune my Energy Egg* to the emotional button pushing (as an environmental stress) and would identify relevant illusory realities and 'zap' them using the Grounding Point procedure on my aventurine sphere — and of course I'd also pay especial attention to taking measures to assist a regrounding of my awareness.

Over time, this strategy has clearly been working, because the attack-enabling button-pushings have steadily reduced in frequency and strength, even though there have of course been the odd little fluctuations in my state.

In April 2011, one evening I put my progress to the test in fairly grand style. I was about to pack up at the computer and make tracks for bed, when I had an intuition to watch an online video of the infamous '9/11' terrorist outrage involving the destruction of the World Trade Centre towers.

I'd never before seen other than the odd blurry newspaper images of that event (I have no television, preferring a hole in the head to one of those!), and I was sure that my watching a video of the event would 'push buttons' for me very strongly indeed and set off a strong garbage attack, which I'd then do my best to dissolve. This would be a particularly challenging time of day to initiate an attack, because it was close to bedtime.

In the event, yes, it all happened as I expected, and by the time I saw the final, monumental collapse of the remaining tower, I had a very strong to severe garbage attack under way, with strong and extremely menacing solar plexus ache and pseudo-thoughts telling me that I'd 'done it' now and would be overwhelmed by this and would have a desperate night, and all that.

The important thing this time, however, was that I knew what was happening and what to do about it. I carried out several retunings of the Clarity-Sphere to all current environmental stresses (which includes the emotional 'button-pushing'), and used my large marble working Clarity-Sphere to carry out the Grounding Point procedure to 'zap' a few relevant illusory realities.

Once in a while I carried out further Clarity-Sphere retunings to current environmental stresses — because when one 'button-pushing point' starts to become unavailable to the garbage, the latter will then switch to successive other, related vulnerabilities. Thus a whole sequence of related vulnerabilities can be 'revealed and sealed' during a single attack event, so that a whole area of attack vulnerability is no longer available for future exploitation, and one's overall immunity is thus increased.

Within an hour the obvious manifestations of the attack were already gone, and I had only a few minor incursions of attack during the night, which I quickly 'zapped' by retuning the Clarity-Sphere to all current environmental stresses — though I had little sleep, with a sort of 'overactive mind' state, which is a different, less serious, sort of garbage interference.

The indications, thus, are that I do indeed have some really useful understanding, and that I must actually be doing something right!

…And now a reminder of what I didn't know then

No wonder that any notion of any sort of imminent and especially apparently predestined total destruction continued to push strong buttons for me, even without any attached lost souls! What I now understand, as from February 2012, is that all that had been reactivating my connection to what I'm calling the 'Apocalypse' primary archetype — and that would contain absolutely masses of pooled trauma emotion energy for the garbage to use in attacks on me, and indeed would have been the underlying 'dynamo' and driving force in all the bits of 'worry story' that the garbage was constantly insinuating into the back of my mindspace. End of mystery!

Please see Understanding archetypes — and clearing ourselves of them.