How to die peacefully and with dignity

Introduction

The natural and best way to die peacefully in your sleep…

Although this page is of universal relevance, I raise this issue at this time particularly for the benefit of everyone who (I suspect) will soon be faced with the great catastrophe that the forthcoming global economic meltdown and collapse looks like bringing. Once we (or at least most of us) are without usable money, food, safe water and essential services and are faced with an apparent certainty of an immediately commencing lingering and miserable dying process (starvation, thirst, disease, and in many cases, lack of shelter), we don't have to go through all that suffering, and, if we've prepared ourselves in the right way, we can choose to die more or less at that point in a state of peace and comfort, with no risk at all that one would be dying inappropriately.

I feel a sadness every time I hear of some unfortunate individual who is in a state of terminal decline, who has the awareness and common sense to understand that it's already time for her to die, yet is being prevented from doing so because of fear-based beliefs (actually sourced from the garbage) that a person is morally obliged to hang on to life to the bitter and all too often agonizing end, when the body itself can no longer continue functioning.

The medical profession is barbaric to the n^th degree in its insisting on trying to extend physical life beyond what is a 'dignified' and reasonably comfortable state for a person to be in — and especially when doing so against the person's own clear wish to die. Unfortunately, a large part of medical 'ethics' is nothing more than garbage-sourced control agenda — playing 'God' with the people in one's care.

If you carefully used Helpfulness Testing in the right way, you could find out for yourself that a so-called 'pro-life' attitude (actually an anti-death one, which has no true respect for worthwhile life either, and is really about seeking to control other people into a rigid, rule-based mode of 'living') is seen by your deepest aspects of consciousness (which include 'the Ultimate') as very unhelpful and not for your ultimate good at all.

The best and most appropriate time to die, thus, is NOT determined by when the body simply can't function any longer, and is best determined by the person's own deepest aspects, which have a much deeper and comprehensive understanding of what is for the person's, and indeed all involved people's, ultimate good than do the ordinary, conscious aspects of the so-called 'mind'.

So, as I say, there's actually an extremely simple means of dying, which can be used when you're in a 'terminal' state or situation. You DO NOT have to, and indeed ARE NOT MEANT TO, hang onto life beyond that point (and it's better for you and all involved that you don't), and thus you don't have to endure the terminal suffering that countless people go through as their deaths approach.

Also, if you use this method, there would be no possibility of your dying inappropriately — for example, if you had a realistic prospect of recovery or where a life situation that seemed hopeless to you was significantly less hopeless or worthless than you believed. Thus there's no trace of ethical problem involved. Maybe unbelievable, but true!

Note this important revision here, which corrects a little bit of rubbish I originally wrote!

All you need to do, when you feel satisfied that this is the latest sensible time to die without getting into terminal suffering (and only YOU — nobody else — can be the judge of this), is, before going to sleep at night, to set a clear intent in your mind* that, if this really is your best time to die, you will die in your sleep, 'now' or 'this very night'. You don't try to make anything happen, and that clear intent is set very peacefully, with a completely open mind about outcome, so you're still fully prepared to wake up in the morning and thus to need to repeat the setting of your intent for the next time you're asleep (or of course to revise your view on what really needs to happen).

All you need to do, at any time in your life, and preferably long before you ever need to die and regardless of your physical or mental condition, is to set a clear intent in your mind* that, when the best / most appropriate time to die comes, you will die in your sleep at that point. You don't try to make anything happen, and that clear intent is set very peacefully, with a completely open mind about outcome and exact timing, so you're still fully prepared to wake up each morning and still keep in touch with (and no doubt further cultivate the deep connection for) your intent to die at the most appropriate time.

Thus, contrary to the little bit of rubbish I originally wrote here, the time to start setting and progressively deepening and strengthening your intent to die at the most appropriate time is always, for anyone of any age, NOW. That wouldn't at all interfere with your living a long and worthwhile life, but it would ensure that at any time that there is a genuine need to 'move on', you are able to do so in the healthiest and least troublesome manner.

Another important point I add, to which I hadn't drawn proper attention before, is that to make this properly effective, and a positive rather than negative / troublesome process, you need to be clear that the word 'death' (and its euphemism, 'passing away') is loaded with harmfully misleading connotations and beliefs, and is to be jettisoned from our perception, even though of course we do leave behind a disgusting lump of carrion! What we're talking about is simply entering the figurative doorway to a new (and now, thanks to Project 'Fix the Human Condition', generally MUCH better) lifetime. Therefore, to be holding this particular intent with that view on it, we can actually be greatly buoyed-up by that awareness rather than brooding over 'my forthcoming death'.

You do NOT physically try to end your life, BUT, if you'd otherwise be too excited or nervous to get to sleep for the purpose of dying, it could be very helpful to take a relatively harmless but effective sleeping tablet such as Zopiclone (only the recommended dose, and not benzodiazepines, which are all very harmful) just to help you get to sleep. The more you show love and respect for yourself by not taking unnecessarily toxic substances (nor overdoses), the more peaceful and dignified will your death be.

However, there's a catch. For this to work, you need, first, to be sufficiently clear of any emotional attachment to life or significant fear of death — and the vast majority of people have an enormous attachment, not only to life in general but also to all manner of things (and people) that their life experience contains, and a huge fear of death. Thus, for nearly everyone (as things are at the moment), for this most natural way of dying in complete peace at the genuinely most beneficial time to work, there has to be preliminary work, which may require days, months or even years, to release oneself from such attachments.

That's one of the many benefits that one gains from genuine self-actualization / self-realization work, at least as I present it on this site, for it enables you to progressively clear your fears and emotional attachments. On the other hand, although comprehensive self-actualization work is by far the best and most dependable approach, and improves your life immensely in every imaginable way (and more), there's a specific procedure that you can use to help you clear your attachments — Grounding Point — especially when used alongside regular ongoing use of Self-Power Walking.

However, although Grounding Point does work 'as is', it requires something like a monthly repeat of the 'zapping' of the deeper-seated issues till it appears that they've dissolved.

When you have cleared those interfering issues there would be no difficulty — no unexpected anxiety or fear obstacle — when the time really has come. Indeed, once you've thoroughly incorporated that dying intent into your life experience, you'd find that you then have a deep trust that you will die in an appropriate and peaceful manner when 'the time comes', and it would then be extremely likely* that you'd then die in that peaceful and dignified manner even if you hadn't consciously set a specific dying intent at the critical time (though it would still be best to do so in order to be sure).

If you're feeling an urgency to die…

If you're feeling an urgency to die, or indeed are feeling driven toward suicide, and you're not in an obvious terminal physical condition, then most likely your real need is NOT to die at the present time at all, because what's really happening is that the garbage is attacking you with those feelings of urgency to 'end it', and with feelings and impressions that life is totally unbearable. I've experienced this myself, so I do know what I'm talking about. Your actual need in such a situation isn't to die but to clear those garbage interferences and attacks — and for that purpose I refer you to Crisis emergency self-help — Life upturn the SMART way. However, if you have a 'hearing voices' or related issue, the following page would most likely be your best starting point: 'Hearing voices' — The real way to clear them. The bottom of that page links back to the Crisis page to ensure that you're in good hands here. Similarly, if it's a monumental loneliness that's the driving force of your wanting to 'end it', then also please carefully read Understanding loneliness — The real practical solution, and follow-up the pointers it gives you.

Declarations of intent to make the setting of intent more powerful

Although the following declarations of intent (DOIs) would be helpful to some extent for anyone who uses them, for them to be most effective you need to carry out your formal readings of them in the manner described in Some potent self-actualization / healing practices.

(1) With clear conscious choice, I affirm my intent that I have no obstacles to my dying spontaneously and without external assistance, in a painless and dignified manner, when my own deepest aspects determine that death would be the most beneficial choice for me at that time — and I also affirm my intent that any extant obstacles to that being the case are now dissolving with all speed.

(2) With clear conscious choice, I affirm my intent that when my own deepest aspects determine that it's more beneficial for me to die at the particular time rather than to continue to live (that is, in a degraded and suffering state), my own deepest aspects will enable me to die spontaneously and painlessly in my sleep or in any other situation where it's best to happen — and that this is becoming possible with all speed.

For most people I recommend a weekly formal reading of these DOIs — preferably just before going to bed. If you read them more frequently you may be actually cultivating a pattern of anxiety about the subject, which itself would be an obstacle to your dying when it's genuinely appropriate for you to 'go'.

However, if you're well advanced in your self-actualization process and are really clear about your intent to die when it becomes most beneficial for you to do so, no purpose is likely to be served by repeatedly reading these particular DOIs — though this statement is subject to the indications of your own Helpfulness Testing on the subject, which would indicate when it's best for you personally to read the DOIs (indeed, if at all!).

Good reasons for NOT saying 'goodbye'…

It's very widely believed that, when your death is imminent, it's somehow helpful or / and 'good' (or even important or essential!) to say 'goodbye' to people who are close to you or indeed who you simply know, and have such people say 'goodbye' to you before you 'go'. Much may be made of a supposed need to put 'closure' upon a life that's about to end, and upon that particular person's relationships and interpersonal issues and 'unfinished business'.

Actually, that's a really crass and harmful bit of 'received wisdom', which helps nobody, at least in genuine terms. The whole mindset of saying 'goodbye' prior to a death is based in attachment and fear of letting go. The need is indeed to let go completely on both sides of 'the divide'.

When you say 'goodbye' to a dying person, you're feeding their own attachments and fear of letting go, and that could well have serious consequences for them, making it still less likely that the person would be able to die properly and revert to fundamental consciousness, which is the person's real need. Instead the person would be trapped by the garbage and forced to reincarnate in a degradational sequence of soul reincarnations, as I explain in The true nature of 'the forces of darkness' and its interference and attacks.

For this reason, for genuinely healthy and peaceful dying, the dying person needs 'friends and family' round him / her like a hole in the head, even though (s)he may subjectively want that — i.e., simply because (s)he doesn't know any better. The need for the dying person is to be 'in the present' and simply not to 'give a toss' about the people in his / her life prior to 'the present' any more, because that's all part of the letting-go process.

When you die, your life experiences dissolve or 'switch off', and you're simply no longer there (the remaining body is certainly not you) — and so, 'goodbyes' are totally meaningless, at least in any positive way. The need is to cultivate a whole non-goodbye mindset well in advance of death, so that one doesn't crave for familiar or 'close' people around one's deathbed, nor concern oneself at all with 'goodbyes'.

Some doubts and questions…

What type of dreams might one expect when the nightly declaration is beginning to work?

Somebody (who I call X here) wrote in to me as follows:

What type of dreams might one expect when the nightly declaration is beginning to work? For some reason I have the notion that the dream should symbolically end your life in the dream and reality. My dreams are very peaceful.

Before actually answering that question, I'd refer one to the previous section, and what I've just said about the frequency of carrying out a formal reading of the DOIs. Anyone who is doing a nightly reading of the particular DOIs is almost certainly approaching the matter with the wrong outlook, and thus obstructing any positive process that would otherwise be initiated / assisted by those DOIs.

That aside, actually it would be good sense to ignore completely what comes up in dreams, for trying to ascribe any particular significance to their contents would only lead one into various sorts of problem. I cover that issue in an answer on one of my FAQ pages, complete with links giving further relevant information.

Basically, none of us can actually know the sort of thing X is seeking to know. In any case X says nothing about using the self-actualization methods given on this site, and if he isn't actually cultivating a genuine comprehensive self-actualization process it would be very touch-and-go as to whether his formally reading the specific declaration of intent alone would be enough. Undoubtedly it would most likely help in some way, as I say, provided that he has the right outlook and isn't trying to will himself to die within a particular time-scale.

If he wants to establish whether he's on the right lines or needs to change anything about how he's setting his intent, and indeed change anything about his actual conscious intention (e.g., wanting to die soon), then his taking up a careful and rigorous use of Helpfulness Testing would be the real way to go about it, rather than having some supposed 'expert' tell him so that he'd thus be copping out from being in charge of his own life process.

Has anyone died in their sleep after following your instructions?

Somebody wrote in as follows:

I read about your instructions on dying peacefully and with dignity. I wanted to know if anyone died in sleep following these instructions.

In an attempt to forestall anyone else writing in with such a question, I shall respond to it here.

It sounds a reasonable enough thing to want to know, doesn't it — but really, is there any way that I or anyone else could know such a thing?!

Indeed, if you stop and think about it, everyone using the method given here will die at some point, regardless of whether it had any effect for them!

As I've been at pains to make clear on this site, my whole 'take' on self-actualization and the issues that we need to address in order to proceed effectively in a comprehensive self-actualization process is based on a rationally based practical working model of our state of affairs, not statements of belief or supposed 'fact'.

According to my understanding it would NEVER be possible for ANYONE genuinely to know whether a person has died as a result of their using particular practices — i.e., apart, maybe, from where a person has actually physically committed suicide.

Thus there will inevitably always be a great unknowability about the effectiveness of non-physical means to facilitate a peaceful and timely death. People who've died have a way of being extremely inconsiderate about this and never telling me nor anyone else whether my methods worked for them — nor indeed even that they've died!

On this page I simply share with others the method that my own inner inquiry has indicated as very likely to work for me and other individuals who are sufficiently self-actualized or at least have opened up sufficient working connection between their deepest sourced intent and their conscious 'mind'. To me, at least it 'adds up' and makes sense within the context of my experience-based and very well-tried and tested working model and methodology generally.

Of course, out there in the human jungle there are 'teachers' and 'gurus' and mystics and psychics and supposed 'Wise Ones' aplenty who would tell you categorically all manner of things about people who've died — but according to my understanding they're ALL unwittingly picking up misinformation from the garbage, so they simply help to maintain people's confusions and misunderstandings about what is actually unknowable to them and indeed to any of us.

I want to die — please help me!

Please, NOBODY write in to me with such a request, ever! I'm NOT a person who assists nor advises about suicide, as surely made clear further above, and I have no experience nor knowledge about doing so, so it's doubly pointless asking me or indeed pleading with me! Anyone who disregards what I say about this and still contacts me with actually time-wasting requests for 'help' will either be ignored or sent packing with a flea in their ear for being so thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I tried it and I'm still alive today. What did I do wrong?

Again, please, NOBODY write in to me with such a question! Again, I'm NOT a person who assists nor advises about suicide, which is what the person is really after. For starters, in ALL such cases please read this page properly! Then you'd have no cause to write in with such time-wasting questions, and you'd very likely then find what you really needed all along — a pointer to your starting to clear yourself of the issue(s) currently making you feel that you must die as soon as possible!

What a lot of unverifiable rubbish this guy has written!

Yes, I've seen something of the piles of invective heaped upon this page's contents in certain forum topics. The vast majority of people who are into spirituality and who are wanting to die or are being protective of other people's suicide wishes ('each to his own', and all that) have no time for the more rational person who examines the situation with real clear-mindedness outside all belief systems. That is, no time except to expend a lot of energy in rhetoric to supposedly dismiss / discredit the writings of such insufferable belief-busting crackpots as this one.

One thing that such people have completely lost sight of is that their own beliefs on the matter are themselves unverifiable, so it's nice and rich of them to go pointing accusing fingers at any working assumption that contradicts their own belief(s) and dismissing it as 'unverifiable'!

Almost without exception, the people who've come to this page from such forum topics read here just with their eyes and preconceived notions, and not with any rationality or good sense that they do actually possess. They come here looking for reasons 'why not', reasons to dismiss, reasons to ridicule and have 'a laugh with the boys' about it, and don't seek to understand anything I've written.

That's not just an empty counter-claim I'm making. I have a well-based idea of the accuracy of my assertion about that, because I observe from my website statistics and access logs that, for the most part, such people don't click any of the explanatory Glossary page links, and also for the most part don't go further at all on this site than this one page.

So, it's clear that those people are set in their ways and their outlooks, and actually don't want to know of a much more helpful alternative approach. Thus they'd naturally dismiss any view of reality that contradicts the beliefs and restricted view of 'reality' to which they're firmly wedded. And because their dismissal is based in belief and no rational and aware appraisal, they pile on their pejorative rhetoric in order to convince others that they're right and the deluded ramblings of this wayward monkey are trash that needs wiping off the face of the Earth.

Such honesty — I take my sun hat off to those honourable ladies and gentlemen and no doubt others!

Do you know how deeper consciousness would decide when is the best time for me to die?

I belatedly checked this, using a bit of my inner inquiry. Really, what I came up with is what anyone would expect if they'd stopped to apply a little practical rational thought to the matter.

Once you've fully set your intent to terminate at the most beneficial time, your deepest aspects are continuously assessing all the factors that are currently pro-indications for continuing in this lifetime, and likewise, all the factors that are currently pro-indications for entering your next incarnation, and giving both totals each a running score that will vary widely from day to day, particularly for people who are living very active, creative and varied lives.

The scores are assessed on the basis of genuine long-term benefit for you and at least to some extent, for all others who may be directly or indirectly involved, so it's a really complex matter.

When the score for 'moving on' consistently outweighs that for remaining, off you go! — Deeper consciousness is much more nuanced in its operation of that system than my short sentence implies, but still I have stated the overall principle.

Factors (apart from the obvious 'terminal condition') that would weigh particularly strongly for 'moving on' include:

• physical or mental suffering that can't readily be addressed;
• living a low-grade life with virtually no creativity; 'couch potatoes' all need to be moved on, as do drug addicts (including a high proportion of smokers), unproductive rough sleepers, smartphone / social media addicts, compulsive gamblers and computer gamers, who all are not serving any useful purpose by remaining. Most people who've had strong / lengthy psychiatric treatments come in this category, as their treatments have typically reduced or destroyed their ability to live worthwhile lives (they are brain-damaged);
• health issues that currently or very soon would require you to depend on carers (apart from, say, brief care after some reasonably temporary indisposition);
• various intractable serious 'mental health' issues, particularly ones causing troublesome behaviours, whether it be child molesting, raping, domestic violence, actual or potential dictator traits or other harmful traits involving wielding of personal power. Being on psychiatric drugs to inhibit the harmful behaviours is not a worthwhile life, and such people definitely need to 'move on'.…

You get the picture? — deeper consciousness aims for people to live full, reasonably self-directed dynamic, creative and constructive lives, and not to be a significant burden on others (including national resources) when they can no longer live a genuinely worthwhile life. Just sitting back and watching TV, or similar, does NOT count as 'worthwhile life', not only from my own perspective, but from that of deeper consciousness itself! It makes no difference as to whether such people are satisfied or dissatisfied with their lives like that.

Such time as most or all people in any particular planetary civilization are sufficiently deeply-connected for their own deepest aspects to be able to move them on at the most appropriate time (a long time in the future, by the look of it), over-large planetary populations would be much less of an issue than they are currently here on Earth and, I understand, in all other current planetary civilizations.

Getting rational about suicide…

No, this does NOT mean that I'm now going to tell anyone how to do that, or to recommend it to anyone! However, my recent experience with individuals with particular intractable issues has shown me that there's a great need for a proper rational and empathetic outlook on the matter of suicide. Any suicide-related choices need to be recognised as deeply personal ones, that should not lightly or automatically be interfered with. My task here is just to present a more rational and properly considered view on the potential standing of suicide as a choice at sometime or other in one's life.

Further above, I was rather 'washing my hands' of anyone set on committing suicide, and really that's a grievous error because at the present time, with the collapse of our global civilization already beginning to occur, there's a pressing need for most or all of us to die by some means or other within a pretty short time-scale now — no matter that the hugely vast majority still believe that nobody must be allowed to deliberately kill themselves.

This, then, is for the benefit of the odd relevant individuals I know, and any others, who are set on suicide, and those who are sensible enough to view suicide as a pragmatic last resort if for some reason they are too 'blocked' internally for their deepest aspects to be able to 'turn off their light' at the most appropriate time as I've described further above. The following notes should be helpful, rather than just leaving such people isolated out in the cold. Having a proper, practical understanding of your situation enables you to make the most constructive and beneficial choices.

Let's set out some practical considerations you need to keep in mind if you've read the rest of this page, and still consider you have at least a potential need for suicide. — And let's bear in mind that increasingly, with progressive failure of economies, increasing signs of impending destructive hostilities, and extremist organizations gaining ground in at least a high proportion of countries now, increasing numbers of people will understand their need to die early, sparing themselves the forthcoming huge suffering and horrors that are inexorably closing in on us.

Thus here I'm not talking of whether one supposedly should or shouldn't do suicide, but about how to make it the most practical and constructive experience if you do choose to take that course.

The main problems about suicide, as usually practised, are the stressful or indeed traumatic effects of that act upon other people. Seeing somebody jump off a clifftop or motorway overpass can be strongly traumatizing — and can require people to put their own lives at risk in attempting to recover the 'suicidee' or their dead body from the incident site. Throwing oneself under a moving bus or train is a pretty devastating experience for the driver, and a nasty shock also for the passengers and any onlookers. Do you really mean to do that to those people?  — And if so, why?

To make a prospective suicide as constructive and as minimally harmfully impactful for others…

• If at all possible, learn and get using Helpfulness Testing in your everyday life. That would enable you to make the most beneficial and genuinely appropriate choices with regard to when and how you die, including whether suicide really is your best choice or whether there really is a better option for you to go for, and if suicide really is your best choice, then what would be the best or at least the least troublesome of the available options.

• Examine your feelings and motivation(s) carefully. Are you so sure that you actually need to leave this lifetime yet, and that what you're really seeking isn't simply to issue some cry for help? Most attempted suicides fall squarely in this category. — If indeed it is the latter, there are many crisis counselling services which not only supportively listen, but can help you point towards more constructive and meaningful new options for directions in your life to consider and maybe explore. Here in the UK we have the Samaritans (primarily a listening service), but there are many other more local services carrying out similar roles, which may be more geared-up for giving relevant pointers and advice.

• If you have sufficient motivation and focus, you can turn your life around with the methods I present on this site. Crisis emergency self-help — Life upturn the SMART way is the best starting-point for that.

• Consider whether you're aiming for suicide really to coerce somebody into behaving in some way, such as remaining a friend / partner of yours, when actually they need to let go of that relationship. — That is NOT a valid reason for suicide, but instead is reason for you to get cultivating loving respect for that individual, wish them well, and get clearing out your own issues that are making you so attached to the person and resistant to healthy change in your own life as well as theirs. Methods given on this site address issues like that.

• If you're definitely set on suicide, then consider carefully how you'd go about it, choosing a method that dispatches you before anyone can get stressed-up about trying to 'save' you, or indeed by having seen you doing something traumatic. Showing that loving respect for others would be also showing that loving respect for yourself. That would give you a happier and more positive send-off, and a bit of that would carry-through to give you a somewhat more happy and self-assured start-off in your next incarnation.