Getting Practical About One's Own Death

. . .To whomsoever it may concern. . .

CONCERNING PROVISIONS FOR THE DEATH OF [name]

I'm [[following a self-actualization process ]outside all religions and spiritual traditions], and I ask for the following requests to be observed if humanly possible in order that I can have as relaxed, 'natural' and happy a death as possible.

Death is a natural and positive process — simply a transition from one state of consciousness into another — and I ask that it not be unduly delayed when I'm ready for it. Doctors and other medics generally have no means to know when a person is actually ready for death, so any beliefs of theirs (or indeed anyone else's!) on the matter would always be inherently invalid and irrelevant to my situation.

For medics and nurses, the most important part of this document is up to paragraph 12, though any who feel they've made some connection with me may wish to take note of the rest.

Before my death

1. At all times, I ask that NO mind-affecting drugs, such as sedatives, anti-depressants, antipsychotics or stimulants be given, except in the event of my explicit request (a 'Yes' or a nod in answer to somebody's question does NOT count as such a request).

   The one exception may be a standard dose of a sleeping tablet (not any of the benzodiazepine 'family', nor barbiturates, but Zopiclone is a relatively harmless one to use) — but again only upon my explicit request, and only for the purpose of my getting some sleep at night, and not for general sedation purposes.

2. Painkillers. As far as practicable, I want these given only with my consent; I particularly ask that any refusal on my part to accept painkillers be fully respected and complied with. In the event of pain, wherever possible I'd prefer non-drug pain control measures.

3. I ask that, if it appears that I've only a short time to live, I be told clearly and unambiguously how near my death appears to be, and to have this information regularly updated as indications change.

4. I ask that medics and nurses who are caring for me make a point of discussing with me my wishes about my forthcoming death and environment for dying even if death is by no means certain at that stage; it will greatly help them in their work as well as ensuring that I get the treatment and care that best fits my real needs.

   My aim isn't to place great demands but to create mutual understanding so that my situation could be a positive and constructive experience for all involved.

5. The Big 'D' isn't so big! A note to visitors as well as medics and nurses: I want complete openness about the prospect of death, and am happy to talk about death, which is really only the end of one particular phase and the beginning of a new phase, even though just what that new phase would be like is unknowable to anyone, regardless of what all the world's belief systems have to say on the subject.

   It would be unhelpful for people to seek to hide from me their own deep feelings and fears about death — indeed, it's very likely that I shall be able to give them great reassurance if they'd really be open with me. One particular trouble about people hiding their own feelings and fears on the subject would be that those would be communicated anyway, unawarely and in such a way as to make maximum negative impact all round.

6. I strongly recommend that doctors, nurses and other care staff involved with me read How to Die Peacefully and with Dignity (www.clarity-of-being.org/how-to-die-peacefully.htm), in which they can gain more understanding of how people can go about dying in the most natural way, as I myself aim to do. It will be apparent from that, that I aim to die peacefully in my sleep at a particular point before my body can no longer function at all.

   That's the healthy and happy way to 'go'. It's a complete fallacy that people have to hang onto life absolutely to 'the bitter end' of the body's ability to support life. Also, I recommend Who Is Really Pro-Life? (www.clarity-of-being.org/who-is-really-pro-life.htm), in which I explore the ethical issues involved.

Life prolongation and resuscitation

7. Life support measures. I ask for these NOT to be applied unless a true and meaningful recovery is expected (in other words, not at all if I'm in any sort of terminal state or would need ongoing care if / when recovered). And if for some reason I've been connected to a life support system and am then found to be in a non-recoverable state, it's ESSENTIAL that disconnection of life support system NOT be used to terminate my life.

   Almost certainly this situation wouldn't arise, because I'd choose to die naturally in my sleep before it ever came to such a situation, but if that situation did arise, the ONLY proper way to terminate my life would be by means of a euthanasia drug, and not to disconnect life support until my body was dead. Disconnection of life support as a means of termination is simply a version of starving / dehydrating (/ suffocating) a person to death — NOT a humane or truly peaceful death.

8. Resuscitation. The same basic principle applies to resuscitation measures as to ongoing life support. I ask that resuscitation be used only if a recovery to reasonable functioning is expected, and it should not be used if I'm in any sort of terminal state, for that would be the time that I mean to, and am meant to, die, and going against that would be going against the genuine 'natural order' and benefiting no-one.

   Nobody's beliefs on the subject have any validity against my own rationally-based and practical approach.

Environment for dying

9. As far as possible I should be in a reasonably relaxed environment that isn't very busy or noisy. In particular I ask to be kept out of proximity to televisions and radios, and with no piped music.

   Televisions in particular are extremely stressful to anyone (whether they realize it or not) and the sound of one at any time of day or night is bound to make anyone's death a stressful experience.

10. I want no priests nor religious devotees such as Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses visiting me at any time (at least, in their capacity as priests or representatives of particular religions).

    Religions are anathema to me and seek to get people taking on board immensely harmful beliefs and illusory realities relating to death, which regularly cause people to have 'botched' deaths that, to my best understanding, lead them into horrendous problems beyond their physical death.

    With that proviso, friends and acquaintances would always be most welcome, provided that they aren't regarding my dying as something sad or bad.

11. When it's clear that I'm dying, it would be best NOT to have friends / acquaintances around me. At the time of dying, one needs to let go of ALL life experience and its emotional attachments and just let the inner 'light switch' flip to 'off', just as happens when one goes to sleep healthily.

After my death

12. Putting the body to use. The whole body or any parts of it can be used to benefit other beings, whether for medical research, student training, or even cut up and thrown to the wind to feed wild animals! I mean that, though I realize that the latter option wouldn't be allowed. I have no time for the pointless reverence that people show for dead bodies when the actual 'person' is no longer using the body (only a temporary vessel) and is no longer associated with it.

13. No funeral nor service is to be held, nor any form of religious or paganistic ritual.

14. Final disposal of my body. The dead body would no longer be me, and would be simply carrion. Therefore no special reverence is to be shown towards it — just as one would surely not show reverence to a dead pig!

    Please use whatever is the most practical and environment-friendly method of disposal. If the body is cremated, it would be a nice idea for the ashes to be taken on foot to the top of a mountain — not just a hill — and discreetly scattered there (i.e., a bit away from where people normally tend to congregate or have eating stops) as a celebration, the timing being such as not to put anyone to undue risk to life and limb. Ideally this would be used as a focus for a little group celebration (without tobacco, alcohol or other mind-affecting drugs).

    The mountain chosen would need to be a not-much-visited one, because I understand that already too many people are scattering ashes of dead relatives / friends on popular mountain-tops and creating an environmental nuisance by doing do. But this idea is NOT a stipulation or request, but just, shall we say, a nice idea cum healthy suggestion!

15. A non-alcoholic, non-smoking, non-drug celebratory Departure-of-Myself party would be fine by me in lieu of a funeral, but again that's nothing more than a suggestion for helping make the small event a positive experience. A reasonably remote wild and rugged place is recommended as the location of such a function, to make it as healthy and inspiring as reasonably possible.

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This version supersedes and cancels any previous version.

Signed:

Date: